dedicated to the master of ceremonies (although then betrayed me)
Last night, after
that you went away, I closed the food in the boxes, I covered it with
film, I put in the fridge what was to be put, I loaded the dishwasher
with the dishes and all this I did without thinking, with the necessity that the
thoughts descend slowly instead of boiling all, so dense and different.
that you went away, I closed the food in the boxes, I covered it with
film, I put in the fridge what was to be put, I loaded the dishwasher
with the dishes and all this I did without thinking, with the necessity that the
thoughts descend slowly instead of boiling all, so dense and different.
I brought in
read with me the book that had been given to me, I opened the iPad to see
What happened in facebook, I finished sending some messages and then
I stayed there, still, silently with the light on waiting for the
brain completely emptied and stopped (because I had several
Shots tonight, I'm not good at managing emotions, or it's a time
which I can't handle, or maybe I have too many things together I don't know). ♪
vague in the void to the wall to my left I feel a blow on the wall: strong,
Like a punch, BUM. I'd tell you very well where it came from
sound, a perimeter wall of the house, over the terrace instead of the roof,
by my bathroom.
read with me the book that had been given to me, I opened the iPad to see
What happened in facebook, I finished sending some messages and then
I stayed there, still, silently with the light on waiting for the
brain completely emptied and stopped (because I had several
Shots tonight, I'm not good at managing emotions, or it's a time
which I can't handle, or maybe I have too many things together I don't know). ♪
vague in the void to the wall to my left I feel a blow on the wall: strong,
Like a punch, BUM. I'd tell you very well where it came from
sound, a perimeter wall of the house, over the terrace instead of the roof,
by my bathroom.
- No.
said – ghosts do not. Not tonight, not now, I'm tired. I want
Sleep.
said – ghosts do not. Not tonight, not now, I'm tired. I want
Sleep.
I turned off the light
and I fell asleep in spite of the table
settle.
and I fell asleep in spite of the table
settle.
(my escape)from reality, called it the Taliban, my head in the sand as he
ostriches, he said, but instead it is not so, it is that in the middle of so much to do there are
of the things on which it is good not to encapsulate, which do not depend on you, and in the midst of
So much trouble money is the easiest thing to solve, and I say, in some
I will, I can do so much, I have to give myself time to stop this
work and find another, I can't stab my life for a new job
while I am at work Benedict and then Son and Daughter, and then Zarina and
father who ages, and then the Taliban, and then the house to be put in order, and
then the tooth split, and then the body to follow, and then the writing to
write, and the book to publish, and the online store, and the brick in the elevator,
and blogs for companies, and night occupation of Curiel, and glasses from
open and wash, and the Boite to look closely but not too much – why not
I can't. ♪
I have to take time, I need time, it is not escape from reality, it is like
decide for good the menu of a dinner, choose from the many recipes what
do, and it seems that you are doing nothing in reality prepare for future action,
so I am now, looking for time, and yes, in the morning firecracker, now
I sleep, please let me sleep. Now).
So, after having
I slept up, and you were already in the hall and in the kitchen and put
Everything in order. There was no trace of the glasses of dinner, crumbs
of bread, drops of red wax fallen on the ground, of the flask table
of linen. The room was in order, and much larger than my current, spaces
huge between the table and the kitchen and the kitchen was white, immaculate, and immediately
I noticed how you had changed places to some things (it always happens so
when someone who doesn't know your house moves things where he best believes, and
the sugar bowl ends in a logical place but that is not what you have
assigned to you, and it seems so silly this thing, and instead it is a light
annoying shift, like a small slip). Yet so much was the
surprise to find everything in place that you even closed the gas fires
with the white doors that were on the wall and I was amazed because
for years the doors were open, to leave the fires lit, instead
so they had been covered, lowered, and I bent surprised to see
as the joints that allowed them to lower themselves were well oiled
despite the years that the doors were open, so long
that I didn't even remember that it was possible to close them (they were gadgets
brass mechanics, pins of that dark yellow that fit each other and
allow movement to rigid structures, and were fixed with round screws and
perfect, with head cut in the center, rounds with a perfect net cut
for a small precision screwdriver).
I slept up, and you were already in the hall and in the kitchen and put
Everything in order. There was no trace of the glasses of dinner, crumbs
of bread, drops of red wax fallen on the ground, of the flask table
of linen. The room was in order, and much larger than my current, spaces
huge between the table and the kitchen and the kitchen was white, immaculate, and immediately
I noticed how you had changed places to some things (it always happens so
when someone who doesn't know your house moves things where he best believes, and
the sugar bowl ends in a logical place but that is not what you have
assigned to you, and it seems so silly this thing, and instead it is a light
annoying shift, like a small slip). Yet so much was the
surprise to find everything in place that you even closed the gas fires
with the white doors that were on the wall and I was amazed because
for years the doors were open, to leave the fires lit, instead
so they had been covered, lowered, and I bent surprised to see
as the joints that allowed them to lower themselves were well oiled
despite the years that the doors were open, so long
that I didn't even remember that it was possible to close them (they were gadgets
brass mechanics, pins of that dark yellow that fit each other and
allow movement to rigid structures, and were fixed with round screws and
perfect, with head cut in the center, rounds with a perfect net cut
for a small precision screwdriver).
I have
I close the door and hugged you strong, and it was like living the
story of BB, when with the constellations he had made himself embraced by two
unknown, and a violent shower
of yellow light invested my back and pushed on you even if not
I wanted there to be such a strong impetus that you could fall to
drag you back a few steps while I walked into your body
overlapping the two images of us, as if we didn't really have bodies, and
for the fraction of an instant we were superimposed, both impotent and
overwhelmed by the light that pressed me on my back. As long as you laid the
hands on my shoulders, because you had never lost contact with the ground and
Your feet were firm and so, you told me, I am a tool and
That's enough, you pushed me away with your hands on the shoulders.
putting me back on my feet, bringing me back where my body was,
I'm a guide, you have to be careful about that woman,
I had to ask you, but I couldn't talk so much.
there was the Franci Iononcicredo who helped you put everything in order, smiled
and he looked at us - I must learn, I am here to see how you do - and it was not her
the woman from whom I had to look at me but I had lost the ability to speak and
above all I had to listen, I knew I didn't have to miss any words and
Who was the woman I had to look at? ), I am a great donut, I am
a master of ceremonies, I am not god but I lead you to him, stand still and in
feet, do not falter.
I close the door and hugged you strong, and it was like living the
story of BB, when with the constellations he had made himself embraced by two
unknown, and a violent shower
of yellow light invested my back and pushed on you even if not
I wanted there to be such a strong impetus that you could fall to
drag you back a few steps while I walked into your body
overlapping the two images of us, as if we didn't really have bodies, and
for the fraction of an instant we were superimposed, both impotent and
overwhelmed by the light that pressed me on my back. As long as you laid the
hands on my shoulders, because you had never lost contact with the ground and
Your feet were firm and so, you told me, I am a tool and
That's enough, you pushed me away with your hands on the shoulders.
putting me back on my feet, bringing me back where my body was,
I'm a guide, you have to be careful about that woman,
I had to ask you, but I couldn't talk so much.
there was the Franci Iononcicredo who helped you put everything in order, smiled
and he looked at us - I must learn, I am here to see how you do - and it was not her
the woman from whom I had to look at me but I had lost the ability to speak and
above all I had to listen, I knew I didn't have to miss any words and
Who was the woman I had to look at? ), I am a great donut, I am
a master of ceremonies, I am not god but I lead you to him, stand still and in
feet, do not falter.
You told me
so, and you gave me a slight push backwards and I found myself in a
room, it was a waiting room, Givra had to arrive, it was a place where the
people with problems of obesity went to cure the mind beyond the body, and
in the room there were two doors, an open behind me, and it was the one from
which I had entered, and one closed exactly in front of the other, closed and dark, in
an area in the shadow of the room, so much so that you could not even notice it (but instead
was dark green, a dark green of wood and shadow and had the handle as well).
Between me and the wall in front of where the door was, there were two armchairs, two
Frau like the ones I have in the room, and on the left a flat television
showed moving images covered by the drop-down menu where there were
written useless information on the frequency of channels (useless for me than not
I was going to watch TV at that time). Sitting on a
of the armchairs the great son of J (J was my great love) who suffers from
obesity and that I follow on Facebook on his days lost between football,
weekend to drink in a munched way, the plays of the skedina, the new car
(he is 21 years old and is already at the second Golf), the new iPhone 5, and the small
love poems for girls,
who writes secretly and who tell me much more than what
He thinks himself.
so, and you gave me a slight push backwards and I found myself in a
room, it was a waiting room, Givra had to arrive, it was a place where the
people with problems of obesity went to cure the mind beyond the body, and
in the room there were two doors, an open behind me, and it was the one from
which I had entered, and one closed exactly in front of the other, closed and dark, in
an area in the shadow of the room, so much so that you could not even notice it (but instead
was dark green, a dark green of wood and shadow and had the handle as well).
Between me and the wall in front of where the door was, there were two armchairs, two
Frau like the ones I have in the room, and on the left a flat television
showed moving images covered by the drop-down menu where there were
written useless information on the frequency of channels (useless for me than not
I was going to watch TV at that time). Sitting on a
of the armchairs the great son of J (J was my great love) who suffers from
obesity and that I follow on Facebook on his days lost between football,
weekend to drink in a munched way, the plays of the skedina, the new car
(he is 21 years old and is already at the second Golf), the new iPhone 5, and the small
love poems for girls,
who writes secretly and who tell me much more than what
He thinks himself.
–
Hi.
he told me, covering the embarrassment with a motorcycle of insecurity, and he looked at me
with blue eyes that are those of the father – I know what you think, – he has me
I don't understand what you found in my father. I really don't understand.
Anyway you adults are like this, you did what you wanted, I know what
You wanted me and I know why it happened. See? He’s a jerk, my father is a
You idiot.
Hi.
he told me, covering the embarrassment with a motorcycle of insecurity, and he looked at me
with blue eyes that are those of the father – I know what you think, – he has me
I don't understand what you found in my father. I really don't understand.
Anyway you adults are like this, you did what you wanted, I know what
You wanted me and I know why it happened. See? He’s a jerk, my father is a
You idiot.
I'm sorry.
Intrigued, because I never thought his father was a jerk, and I know
that we made choices and consciously carried them forward, and
certainly things could have gone differently but instead we have
and because we have it with integrity of conscience, I think we have
done the right thing even if we are torn, torn and offended inside (that I
I suffered and screamed in the world my pain and he instead closed it inside
Yes, – as you are – I wrote to him one day – I am like you told me:
a lighthouse turned off, but I stand- and we haven't felt that our lives
have taken different paths and commitments with other people that we can no longer
betraying by now, our integrity of conscience prevents us).
Intrigued, because I never thought his father was a jerk, and I know
that we made choices and consciously carried them forward, and
certainly things could have gone differently but instead we have
and because we have it with integrity of conscience, I think we have
done the right thing even if we are torn, torn and offended inside (that I
I suffered and screamed in the world my pain and he instead closed it inside
Yes, – as you are – I wrote to him one day – I am like you told me:
a lighthouse turned off, but I stand- and we haven't felt that our lives
have taken different paths and commitments with other people that we can no longer
betraying by now, our integrity of conscience prevents us).
– – are
here with the Givra group because we are doing a beautiful job,
instead of working on the punishment of our body and the deprivation (we who
already we have been so private of everything necessary), we bring out that
that we have inside, and we make it physical and tangible, putting on the canvas the
our colors, cutting with scissors patchwork fabrics by pasting with
the vinavil the mosaic tiles on the canvases already made (as you have
you also made in the dream of the other night), and the weight we have in goes
outside. But it doesn't mess up outside, but instead, it becomes an expression of us and others
like it, they call it art instead is resumption of control of our body, it is
free us from the useless we carry on, and now that you are here
as you enjoy, that there is a room with the blue tables of middle school
all put together, and above there you can do the things you want, for two work
every week, a constant weight loss, what the fuck you do here, I liked you
So much, Nina, you were a pain for me, too, that my mother threw me
because she needed an ally and I was on her side.
here with the Givra group because we are doing a beautiful job,
instead of working on the punishment of our body and the deprivation (we who
already we have been so private of everything necessary), we bring out that
that we have inside, and we make it physical and tangible, putting on the canvas the
our colors, cutting with scissors patchwork fabrics by pasting with
the vinavil the mosaic tiles on the canvases already made (as you have
you also made in the dream of the other night), and the weight we have in goes
outside. But it doesn't mess up outside, but instead, it becomes an expression of us and others
like it, they call it art instead is resumption of control of our body, it is
free us from the useless we carry on, and now that you are here
as you enjoy, that there is a room with the blue tables of middle school
all put together, and above there you can do the things you want, for two work
every week, a constant weight loss, what the fuck you do here, I liked you
So much, Nina, you were a pain for me, too, that my mother threw me
because she needed an ally and I was on her side.
At that point I have it
Look, while he was sitting down in the armchair with big armrests, and
I sat on my armrest next to him but he got up, I saw that
He wanted to stop and hug me, but people came from outside and a boy
can not show his weakness, – I do not want to smancerie- he told me, and
I noticed how it was actually slimming, still robust but
weighted by those chilies that wear on the day, – I come too!
May I?- I asked confidently.
Look, while he was sitting down in the armchair with big armrests, and
I sat on my armrest next to him but he got up, I saw that
He wanted to stop and hug me, but people came from outside and a boy
can not show his weakness, – I do not want to smancerie- he told me, and
I noticed how it was actually slimming, still robust but
weighted by those chilies that wear on the day, – I come too!
May I?- I asked confidently.
From the bottom of the
Givra corridor together with another group of people called us.
Givra corridor together with another group of people called us.
He's me
he said.- do whatever you want, I don't care- and he embroidered in
corridor from which I entered.
he said.- do whatever you want, I don't care- and he embroidered in
corridor from which I entered.
I woke up.
That was 6:00 a.m. and I ran to the bathroom where I threw up.
That was 6:00 a.m. and I ran to the bathroom where I threw up.
Then I went back to bed and I went back to sleep.
(ah, the table)
I fixed it later, huh? Beautiful friends!!!)
I fixed it later, huh? Beautiful friends!!!)
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